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From experience, I know that anxiety and panic attacks can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and sometimes frightening. Many clients come to see me feeling anxious and not knowing what to do with it, as many of us don’t – we’re not taught what anxiety is and what it means.

The good news is that with understanding and the right tools, you can learn to navigate them more efficiently and with self-compassion. I still experience anxiety and panic attacks, but I’ve found ways to be with them.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is your body’s natural response to perceived danger. It triggers the fight-flight-freeze response, preparing you to deal with threats. While this can be helpful in short bursts or when a real threat happens. But when this response is misfiring (when there is no real threat), chronic anxiety can become exhausting and intrusive, affecting your daily life.

What are panic attacks?

A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear or discomfort that peaks within minutes. It can include symptoms like:

• Fast heartbeat
• Shortness of breath
• Dizziness or feeling lightheaded
• Sweating or feeling cold
• A sense of detachment from reality
• Fear of losing control

Panic attacks can caused by overwhelm, stress or trauma. Sometimes, they can feel as though they come out of nowhere. But while they feel overwhelming, they are not dangerous, and they do pass.

Why do they happen?

Panic attacks and anxiety are often intensified and get reinforced when you ‘react’ fearfully through a fight/flight reaction to stress-related body sensations and overwhelming feelings or symptoms of anxiety. The more attention we give to anxiety and these sensations, the longer they take to go away. If we can learn not to pay attention and to say to ourselves, this will pass; and I will be ok -this is half of the battle.

Often, the symptoms of panic and anxiety will become less intense once your fight/flight reaction to these stress-related symptoms has stopped and you are no longer fighting the sensations that arise.

What can I do?

Notice and become mindful

Ask yourself, how do I know anxiety is here? What are the body sensations, feelings, body posture, thoughts, and images in my mind that go with my anxiety?

What is my relationship to anxiety?

Notice what meaning and judgments you make about your anxiety and emotional distress in the first place.

What kind of relationship do you have with your anxiety sensations and feelings of distress? Do you automatically fight the feelings, trying to push them down, have catastrophic fantasies about the future, or have excessive worry thinking through the ‘what ifs’? Do you shame yourself and judge yourself for feeling anxiety or distress?

Notice the effect of your reaction to your original distress and anxiety symptoms. Does it intensify or lessen it? Remind yourself that your anxiety is here for a reason, and if you listen to it, you will find out what it’s here to tell you.

What helps in the moment?

Try to reframe it

Call it out for what it is – “this is an adrenalin rush I don’t want or need right now. I don’t need to do anything right now. I need to sit with it, and it’s uncomfortable, but it will pass.” The more we fear and react to anxiety and panic attacks, the more we keep the loop going.

Notice your thoughts

Anxiety often brings thoughts like, “Something bad is about to happen,” or “I can’t handle this.”

When these thoughts arise, try asking:

• Is this thought based on fact or fear?
• What would I say to a friend feeling this way?
• What is the worst that could happen, and could I cope with it?

Ground yourself in the present

During an anxiety or panic attack, grounding techniques help bring you back to the present:

• The 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name five things you see, four things you touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
• Deep breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. Repeat until your body begins to settle. Or do 10 slow, deep belly breaths.
• Hold something cold: Ice packs, a cold drink, or running your hands under cool water can help interrupt the panic cycle.

Regulate your nervous system

• Engage in movement: gentle exercise, stretching, or walking can release built-up tension.
• Use self-soothing techniques: a warm bath, your favourite TV, or comforting music can calm the body. Anything that works for you.
• Try somatic practices: progressive muscle relaxation, stretching, swaying side to side, singing or humming can help regulate your nervous system.

Know that you will cope – you have the resilience to do this.

Want to work with me?

I’m a fully qualified therapist specialising in trauma and neurodiversity. I work with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. I offer practical, evidence-based tools that have worked for me.

If you’re interested in working with me to start to work with your anxiey, and feel more confident please contact me.

Have you ever caught yourself speaking to yourself in a way you’d never dream of speaking to a friend? The way we talk to ourselves matters. Yet, many of us hold ourselves to impossible standards, replay mistakes over and over, and criticise our every move.

If your inner critic runs the show, it might be time to shift towards self-kindness. Self compassion isn’t about ignoring our challenges or pretending that everything is fine. It’s about meeting yourself with warmth and understanding, even when things go wrong.

Here is how you can start:

1. Notice your inner voice

We all have an internal dialogue; for many, it’s a harsh and unforgiving inner critic. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Would you say those words to a loved one? If the answer is no, try softening your tone. I

Instead of ‘I’m such a failure’ try ‘I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough.’

2. Treat yourself like a good friend

Imagine your best friend was struggling. How would you comfort them? What would you say? Now, apply that same compassion to yourself. Next time you make a mistake or feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, ‘What would I say to a friend in this situation?’ Then say it to yourself.

3. Set healthy boundaries

Being kind to yourself also means protecting your time, energy, and well-being. Learn to say no to things that drain you. Prioritise rest. Surround yourself with people who uplift rather than criticise you. Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re a vital act of self-respect.

4. Challenge perfectionism

Perfectionism is often the enemy of self-kindness. It keeps you stuck in a cycle of ‘I’m not good enough.’ Try embracing the idea that good enough is enough. Your progress matters so much more than perfection.

5. Nourish your body and mind

Self compassion includes taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. Eat foods that make you feel good, move in ways that bring you joy, and get enough rest. Small acts of self-care, whether it’s making a nice cup of tea, taking a deep breath, or stepping outside send a powerful message: I am worthy of care.

6. Practice self-compassionate journaling

Journaling is a great way to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Try writing down three kind things about yourself each day. Or, if you’re struggling, write yourself a letter from the perspective of someone who loves you.

7. Embrace your humanity

None of us have it all together all the time. You will make mistakes. You will have bad days. That doesn’t mean you are failing; it means you are human. Instead of berating yourself for your imperfections, embrace them as part of you and your story.

8. Seek support when you need it

Being kind to yourself also means knowing when to ask for help. You don’t have to cope with everything alone. Reach out to a friend, a therapist, or a local support group when you need a reminder that you don’t have to do it all alone.

You deserve kindness, not just from others, but from yourself. The way you speak to yourself, the way you treat yourself, and the way you care for yourself all shape your well-being.

Start small. Speak gently. And remember, every act of self compassion is a step toward growth and healing.

Want to work with me?

I’m a fully qualified therapist specialising in trauma and neurodiversity. I work with depression, anxiety and low self esteem. I offer practical, evidence based tools that worked for me.

If you’re interested in working with me to start to improve your view of yourself and feel more confident please contact me.

Our inner critic is a part of us; I’ve heard it referred to as the glue of our personality. Often there to judge us, to punish us, to berate us and make us feel guilty. Is this fair? It’s not, it’s harsh.

A harsh inner critic doesn’t believe that we are enough as we are – it thinks we need to work and work and work to get there. But it comes from a place of support and love – it just goes about it incorrectly.

Why do some of us have bullying critics?

Our critics are different; they are built from the survival strategies of early childhood, of trying to keep the attachment of our caregivers. As we grow older and take in cultural and social norms, they become fixed and a solid part of us.

This has a profound impact on how we view ourselves and how we make meaning. As children, we look for love and interpret messages from parents, school, friendships, and bullies. A harsh critic is always in our ears or influencing how we are and behave. The right and wrongs we learn lead us to try to be good, the best at school, and be loveable. If we do everything right, we’ll be loved, safe, and belong. It shuts down the part of us that might cause us to be disliked or not loved in a misguided way of protecting and loving us.

Our critic judges us; it doesn’t have any other role. It attacks our intelligence, our gender, our age, our sexual orientation, our appearance, and our way of being. It makes us anxious; it increases stress and attacks our nervous system.

Some of us might have a healthy inner critic that is helpful for us – but many of us have an unhealthy, harsh critic that challenges our sense of self and worth. A healthy inner critic – or an inner champion- is kinder and more supportive, like a coach. It’s a healthy human conscience; it keeps us in check but in a less mean way, without beating us up, bathing us in shame. People with self-compassion and kind critics can look at learning and growth rather than failure.

How can we break free from a harsh inner critic:

• Listen to your critic; what is it so fearful of? What boundaries has it built up, and what are its rules? Don’t criticise your critic; be curious about it. What is it saying to you? What are its expectations? What are the ideals you need to match up to? What is its purpose? Does it have any positive intention?
• Imagine sitting next to your critic and chatting with it. What voice does it have? What standards is it holding you to (this might sound like you should, you must, more than, better than, less than)
• When does it appear? In what situations is it louder? When does it go away?
• How do you relate to your critic? How would you describe it to others?
• What are its origins, and how long has it been around? Does it remind you of anyone?
• How does it feel in your body? Do you want to curl up, fight or run away? If you don’t feel a voice in your head, you may feel it in your body; you may feel exhausted, diminished or small.
• Recognise that we are all human, all good people, and sometimes all make mistakes.

To begin this work, try to have a daily dialogue with your critic; talk to it from the moment you get up. Say to it, I need you to step back; I have my own back. Sit it down in a chair and say what you notice and feel about it. Play with it.

The benefits of this:

When we are more regulated, we have more power to confront and turn towards our critic, question it, laugh at it, and slowly disengage from it. Show it compassion, and try to understand how it’s trying to help.

We must look at our shame, defensive models, patterns, and survival strategies from a compassionate place. This work is also about turning towards our inner child, listening to it, and supporting it through this work.

If you need support from a harsh inner critic or are interested in inner child work, please contact me.

Rewind trauma therapy can quickly and effectively process traumatic memories without requiring any in-depth discussion. It helps remove intense emotions from memories, preventing them from triggering traumatic responses.

Rewind Therapy, also known as the Rewind Technique. It is used to help overcome the effects of trauma, PTSD, phobias, and anxiety.

Trauma can significantly impact daily life, regardless of whether it occurred four weeks ago or 20 years ago. And whether it was a single event or ongoing events or experiences. It can be debilitating and scary to live with.

Trauma can cause depression and anxiety; it can shape the way we think and feel and make us angry, anxious, sad, confused, and stressed. It can lead us to avoid certain situations. It can increase our reliance on unhelpful coping mechanisms. Additionally, trauma can significantly impact our relationships, including those with family and friends.

Using the Rewind therapy technique, we will work specifically on your trauma in the safety of the therapy room. The aim is to reduce the effects of the trauma, helping with PTSD, flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, and panic attacks.

How does rewind therapy work for trauma?

1. Relaxation and safety: I will work to help you to reach a relaxed state, often using guided relaxation or grounding exercises, helping you to safe and secure.
2. Mental “rewinding”: I will then ask to visualise the traumatic event, but you’ll do so from a dissociated perspective. Instead of reliving the event from your own perspective, you will visualise it as if watching a movie or from a third-person view. You don’t have to talk to me about what happened.
3. Desensitisation: During the visualisation, I will guide you to “rewind” the memory, playing it backwards in your mind and then “fast-forwarding” it again, repeatedly. This process is designed to change the emotional connection to the traumatic memory, gradually reducing the distress it causes.
4. Integration: After the repeated visualisation and desensitisation, I may bring you back to the present, helping you to integrate this new, less-disturbing version of the memory into your psyche.

What are the benefits?

Non-intrusive: Rewind therapy differs from other trauma therapies by respecting your boundaries and not requiring a detailed recounting of trauma. This approach is more accessible and less distressing, offering comfort and reassurance to many individuals.

Quick: Rewind is a relatively short therapy, sometimes requiring only a few sessions. This quick turnaround can bring a sense of hope and optimism, knowing that relief from trauma can be achieved in a short span of time.

Effective for trauma: Research and anecdotal evidence strongly suggest that Rewind can be effective in reducing PTSD symptoms, flashbacks, nightmares, and anxiety. However, its effectiveness can vary based on the individual and the specific nature of their trauma.

It’s important to note that while many find it beneficial, it may not work for everyone, and there are no guarantees of complete resolution of trauma-related issues.

If you are interested in Rewind therapy, please contact me for more information or to book a session.

Journalling is a super straightforward tool and one that is often overlooked as part of a self-care toolbox. Many of us live with severe anxiety and stress, and writing down our thoughts can have profound benefits for mental health.

A safe space for expression

One of the most significant benefits of journalling is that it provides a safe and private space to express your thoughts and emotions without fearing other people’s judgement.

Many of us struggle to articulate our feelings verbally or feel uncomfortable sharing our innermost thoughts. A journal is a personal sanctuary where you can pour out everything that is playing on your mind. This expression of thought can be incredibly liberating, helping to unburden the mind and alleviate emotional stress.

Clarifying thoughts and feelings

Our minds often feel like a tangled web of thoughts and emotions, especially during stressful times. Journalling helps to untangle this web by allowing you to organise your thoughts.

By writing down your feelings, you can clarify what’s truly bothering you, identify patterns in your thinking, and begin to recognise triggers contributing to your stress or anxiety. This self-awareness is the first step toward addressing mental health challenges.

Managing stress and anxiety

Writing about stressful experiences can reduce the intensity of those emotions – much like talking about them can. This process, known as expressive writing, can help to lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress.

By confronting and exploring stressful events through journalling, you can lessen their emotional impact over time. Moreover, journalling can serve as a coping mechanism, providing a constructive outlet for processing difficult emotions instead of internalising or avoiding them.

Enhancing emotional intelligence

Journalling can also boost your emotional intelligence. Giving you a better ability to recognise, understand, and manage your emotions. As you regularly document your experiences and feelings, you become more attuned to your emotional responses and better equipped to handle them. This heightened self-awareness can help to improve relationships, decision-making, and overall emotional resilience.

Tracking personal growth

A journal can also be a brilliant tool for tracking personal growth and progress. You create a mental and emotional journey timeline by consistently recording your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Looking back on past entries can offer valuable insights into how far you’ve come, highlight recurring challenges, and reveal the strategies that have been most effective in managing your mental health. Having this sense of progress can be motivating and affirming.

Promoting mindfulness

Journalling encourages mindfulness, the practice of being present and fully engaged with the current moment. When you write, you focus on your inner world, tuning out external distractions. This mindful practice can help calm the mind, reduce anxiety, and promote peace. Over time, journaling can help you create a more conscious approach to life, helping you to become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions.

Problem-solving and creativity

Writing about challenges and obstacles can also enhance problem-solving skills and creativity. With journalling, you talk with yourself, exploring different perspectives and possibilities. This process can help you think outside the box, generate new ideas, and develop solutions to problems that may have seemed insurmountable before.

Helping to process trauma and healing

If you have experienced trauma, journaling can be a powerful tool for healing. Trauma can leave a lasting impact on mental health, and processing it can be challenging. Journaling provides a private space to explore traumatic experiences at your own pace, helping you to make sense of what happened and integrate those experiences into your broader life story. This process can be incredibly therapeutic, aiding in the emotional processing and healing necessary to move forward.

Improving sleep quality

Stress and anxiety can affect our sleep. Journalling before bed, mainly writing about your worries or to-do lists, can help clear your mind, making it easier to fall asleep. By offloading your thoughts onto paper, you can reduce the mental chatter that often keeps you awake at night, leading to better sleep quality and overall mental well-being.

How to get started

So, how do we start practising good journaling? If you’re new to journaling, filling blank pages with your thoughts might feel daunting. But please remember, there are no rules for journaling. It’s a personal practice, and what matters most is that it feels helpful and authentic to you.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. Start small: Begin with just a few minutes a day. You don’t need to write pages and pages; a few sentences can be beneficial.

2 Be honest: Write freely without worrying about grammar, spelling, or what others might think. A journal is your space to be completely honest with yourself.

3. Use prompts: If you’re unsure what to write about, try using prompts such as “Today I feel…”, “What’s been on my mind lately is…” or “One thing I’m grateful for is…”.

4. Make it a habit: Try to journal regularly, whether daily, weekly, or whenever you need. Consistency can help you reap the most benefits.

Please contact me if you’re interesting in sessions or with any questions about journalling.

Email therapy provides a powerful and accessible method for you to articulate your emotions and thoughts in a non-judgmental environment.

Through asynchronous communication via email, you are able to express your feelings, problems, and concerns in a way that might work better for you. For some, this approach fosters greater freedom and openness than traditional verbal communication, creating a space for meaningful self-expression and introspection.

In practical terms, email therapy involves a weekly exchange of emails between the client and therapist, with both parties committing to crafting thoughtful and reflective responses similar to a standard therapy session. Agreed response times and a dedication to confidentiality through secure communication platforms (like Protonmail) are integral to this setup.

Many individuals find that writing about their thoughts and feelings is a therapeutic process that contributes to profound self-awareness and offers insight into personal experiences.

Email therapy is especially helpful for those who prefer expressing themselves in writing and value enhanced privacy and confidentiality. Additionally, the permanent record of email exchanges allows clients to further reflect on their feelings and the therapist’s responses.

How does it work?

Once a week, you email me, and I write back. This exchange of confidential emails allows you to explore how you feel with a qualified therapist through written words.

We each send a maximum of 500 words once a week. I will spend the same time writing to you as I would if we were meeting for a 50-minute session. And I ask that you give your writing the same amount of time.

We will agree to respond to each other by a specific time and day of the week, so you’ll always know when to expect to hear from me next. As the time delay is an essential therapeutic difference with email therapy, I take three working days to reflect, ponder and draft my reply. This allows me to thoroughly consider your thoughts and words as you wait for my answer.

The email therapy sessions can conducted through an email platform of your choice. I will use ProtonMail and recommend you consider signing up for their free account to ensure all emails are encrypted.

If you do decide to try email therapy, you can try these tips: 

• Agree with your therapist on a time and day of the week to respond to each other
• Limit your emails to 500 words 
• Use emojis, fonts or colours to help express yourself 
• Ensure you are in a private and safe space to write in
• Spend time reflecting and writing your reply.
• Clarify if your therapist misunderstands or gets something wrong, so they knwo and can put this right.

Why I like offering email therapy

I enjoy finding the right words to help us understand ourselves. Writing is absorbing and enlightening. As a person-centred therapist, the relationship we develop is critical to change and growth.

As I read your words, I will aim to understand who you are and what support you seek. For the ‘therapeutic hour’, I am with you. I will be in your frame of reference, working to see what you may not see to understand yourself better. A weekly therapeutic email exchange is an effective way to connect, be understood, find the answers that work for you and thrive.

However, email therapy may not suit everyone. Some individuals prefer the immediacy of spoken conversation or find it challenging to express themselves accurately through writing. Despite these considerations, if you resonate with this mode of therapy, it can be an effective means of exploring feelings and thoughts, benefiting from the therapeutic process in a flexible and introspective manner.

If you are interested in email therapy, please get in touch with me for more information.

I understand how difficult it can be to cope with the relentless presence of stress in our lives. It often leaves us feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. This relentless cycle of stress triggers the release of cortisol, commonly known as the stress hormone, which floods our bodies and minds with tension.

When present in small amounts, stress can be beneficial, helping us stay alert and focused. However, when its levels remain consistently high over an extended period, it can wreak havoc on our bodies and minds.

Elevated cortisol levels can potentially impair cognitive function, weaken the immune system, and contribute to the development of chronic health problems, chronic health issues. It’s a delicate balance that can tip into harmful territory if we’re not careful.

What might help?

The first step to breaking the stress cycle is recognising when we are in it. Mindfulness and self-awareness can help us identify the triggers that set off our stress responses.

Practising deep breathing techniques, engaging in physical activity, and meditation can all help lower cortisol levels.

One effective way to release the unease is through somatic stretching — gentle, intentional, and active movement. The key to melting away stress and tension is to allow your brain (intention) to help release cortisol from your body (movement).

Try a supine spinal twist:

• Lie on your back with your legs flat. Then, bring your arms out to your sides with your palms facing down so your body is in a T position.

• You should breathe deeply and smoothly throughout this pose. Do not hold your breath.

• Bend your right knee so it points upward.

• Then, slowly drop your right knee over to the left side of your body, twisting your spine and lower back. Turn your head toward your left fingertips. Hold the position for 20 seconds or more, and breath for five to 10 breaths.

• Carefully bring your knee back to the centre and release your hips to the floor. Then repeat with the other side. Be intentional and gentle, and breathe through the movement.

Please contact me if you need support with prolonged stress and/or anxiety.

When we pause to listen, we’ll find that our bodies are constantly communicating with us. Consider a churning stomach before a vital work meeting, or sweaty palms when going on a first date.

Understanding our nervous system

Our nervous system acts as a sensitive bridge, connecting the physical sensations within our bodies to our emotional experiences. It plays a crucial role in recognising and responding to indicators of safety or threat. Through its complex network, it interprets various signals and cues, prompting appropriate reactions that affect our overall well-being. This intricate system ensures that we are continually attuned to our environment and internal states, allowing for a complex interplay between our bodies and emotions.

Somatic therapy

Somatic therapy is an approach that focuses on fostering an understanding and relationship with our body in addition to our thoughts. This form of therapy emphasises the importance of both the mind and body working together to address and heal any damage that might have been inflicted upon our nervous system.

A key aspect of somatic therapy involves paying attention to and gently caring for the various signals our body sends us, facilitating a holistic healing process.

Somatic interventions

In my experience working with clients, I often suggest incorporating body-based approaches while discussing difficult thoughts and feelings. It’s essential to take breaks during our discussions to ‘check in’ with the body and pay attention to its responses.

By being mindful of changes in breath, body temperature, posture, and muscle tension, we can better understand the body’s distress signals and moments of safety. This practice allows for a deeper connection between our emotional experiences and bodily sensations. Fostering a more holistic healing process that addresses both the mind and body for overall wellbeing. By occasionally checking in with the body as we reflect on difficult experiences, we can become more attuned to its signals of distress and safety.

Observing changes in breath, body temperature, posture, and muscle tension allows us to develop a deeper understanding of the body’s role in our emotional experiences.

How can somatic therapy help?

During frightening or dangerous situations, our body’s defense system kicks into gear. This reaction is completely natural and pivotal for our survival, escape, or endurance through such events. However, when trauma is continuous or so overwhelming that it exceeds the capacity of our defense mechanisms, the system fails to deactivate as it’s supposed to. This malfunction can lead to the stress becoming lodged in our bodies. Consequently, we might suffer from anxiety, tension, stress, insomnia, and various other distressing symptoms.

Using body-based approaches like breath work, grounding, and relaxation techniques can help you reconnect with your body. Managing stress and anxiety more effectively.

By tuning into physical sensations and practicing calming techniques, you can create a path to healing. Allowing your nervous system to shift from a state of heightened alertness to a state of relaxation and safety. This not only helps alleviate trauma and stress symptoms. It also enhances overall wellbeing by fostering harmony between the mind and body.

Please contact me to find out more about how I work.

Preparing for your first counselling or psychotherapy session can help you feel more at ease and help you to make the most of the experience.

You may feel nervous or unsure of what to talk about. Or you might have lots to talk about – but you might not know where to start.

Here are some steps you can take:

1. Identify your goals: Think about what you hope to achieve from therapy. Do you want to address specific issues, gain new coping strategies, or simply have a space to explore and talk? How do you want to feel at the end of therapy?
2. Gather relevant information: Consider any important personal history, such as past experiences with mental health, significant life events, or medical history that might be relevant to your current situation.
3. Past therapy: Have you had therapy in the past? Was this good or bad, was it useful? Is there anything you would you like to be different?
4. Reflect on your feelings: Spend some time thinking about your current emotional state. What feelings or thoughts are most prominent for you right now? Do you know where you feel these in your body?
5. Write down questions: Make a list of questions you have for your therapist. These might include questions about their approach, confidentiality, or what to expect in future sessions.
6. Consider practical details: Make sure you know the logistics of your appointment, such as the time, location (or online meeting details), and how to contact the therapist if needed. If it’s online will they send a link, if it’s face to face, are you clear on the directions and address?
7. Relax and be open: Remember that the therapist is there to help you in a non-judgemental way. It’s normal to feel nervous, but try to be open and honest about your thoughts and feelings. If you have trouble articulating your feelings, your therapist will be able to help with that.
8. Self-care beforehand: Engage in a relaxing activity before your session to help calm any nerves. This might include deep breathing, a walk, or listening to soothing music.

By taking these steps, you can hopefully enter your first therapy session with a clearer sense of purpose and a little bit more confidence.

Please contact me if you have any question or would like to book in a free 30 minute call.

Have you heard of therapy or counselling. But you’re not quite sure what it is or whether it could be helpful to you? There is a lot of ‘therapy talk’ going around currently, and you might have seen persistent advertising from Better Help. But you still might be wondering what it means to go to therapy and talk to a therapist regularly. 

As a person-centred therapist, I hope to explain how I see therapy and hopefully answer some of your questions. 

Counselling and psychotherapy involve talking honestly through your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours with a trained professional in a safe and confidential space. Working with a person-centred therapist means that you won’t be told what to do, think or feel. You are in control and you know yourself, probably better than you think. A therapist will guide and challenge you, when necessary. They will actively listen in a way that friends and family don’t. 

Therapy can help you to gain insight into yourself, your relationships, and your life experiences. Whether you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, relationship issues. Or just feeling stuck in life, therapy can provide a supportive environment to explore and work through these challenges at a pace that works for you. 

It’s not a quick fix; no therapist can promise that you’ll have a few sessions and suddenly, all your problems will disappear. Talking through difficult experiences, coping mechanisms and feelings often takes time. You build trust with a therapist and a working relationship and together you work on the things that matter to you. You work at a pace that feels right for you, which can vary depending on what’s happening and whether you work online or face-to-face.

So how does it work?

When you start working with a therapist, in person-centred theory – we might say that you are in a state of ‘incongruence’. This could mean that you’re not feeling yourself; you may be anxious, depressed or grieving. It may simply be that something in your life just isn’t how you’d like it to be or that you have a particular problem at work or within a relationship you want to work on.

You can spend your short-term or longer-term sessions working through things with your therapist. Using sessions to offload, process and work through things emotionally and practically. You can talk and if you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed – work through somatic exercises, or we can get the paints and modelling clay out when the words won’t come out or the feelings feel blocked and out of reach. 

Your therapist is there to listen, not to judge, and to support you. After some time, you will hopefully reach a state of ‘congruence’ – feeling better and more aligned with the different areas of your life and the different parts of you. Congruence is a healthy state of being and enables people to progress towards living life genuinely and authentically.

How long does counselling and psychotherapy last?

Counselling is likely to last a number of weeks or months and work in the present. Psychotherapy is likely to be open ended and last a number of months or years. This is because counselling might help to address a current difficulty whereas psychotherapy might address difficulties rooted in the past.

So now you know what therapy is, what next?

If you’re unsure whether therapy is right for you, that’s okay; having questions and concerns is entirely normal. But if you think you could benefit from talking, I encourage you to reach out and give it a try. Therapy can be a powerful tool for growth and healing from trauma experiences. I’m here to support you every step of the way.

Please contact me