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Trauma can affect everybody differently. When we feel stressed or threatened, our bodies release hormones called cortisol and adrenaline. This is the body’s way of preparing to respond to danger, and we have no control over it.

This can have a range of effects, which are sometimes called:

• Freeze – feeling paralysed or unable to move
• Flop – doing what you’re told without being able to protest
• Fight – fighting, struggling or protesting
• Flight – hiding or moving away
• Fawn – trying to please someone who harms you

If we experience trauma, our body’s reactions can continue long after the trauma is over. For example, when we’re in a situation that reminds us of the trauma. This might affect how we think, feel and behave, especially if recovering from the trauma has been difficult.

Experiencing something traumatic can have a profound effect on your life. It changes the way you think, feel, and experience life every day. The difficult part of defining trauma is that there’s really an unlimited number of things you can experience as being traumatic.

The key to understanding the definition of trauma is that it’s not really about what happens to you that matters; it’s how you experience that event that matters. The best definition of trauma is any experience that overwhelms your thoughts, emotions, or body.

What trauma really looks like in everyday life

When people hear the word “trauma,” they often think of significant and obvious events, something clearly bad enough to explain why someone might be struggling. However, trauma can manifest in quieter, more everyday ways that are easy to overlook, minimise, or dismiss as personality traits, stress, or simply “the way I am.”

It’s common to replay conversations in your mind, questioning whether you said the wrong thing, interpreting someone’s tone, or revisiting past moments and memories long after they’ve occurred, even when nothing clearly went wrong. This tendency isn’t necessarily a sign of being overly sensitive; rather, it often indicates that a part of you has developed a habit of remaining alert and hyper-vigilant, constantly on the lookout for anything that might lead to rejection or disconnection, and this can be a symptom of trauma.

It can look like always feeling “not good enough”

There can be a constant, underlying sense that you’re failing in some way, that you should be coping better, doing more, or feeling a less broken version of yourself, even when you’re already stretched. This can often be closely linked to self-worth and to the quiet pressure many people carry to keep proving themselves.

You might also relate to my page on self-worth and the inner critic.

It can look like people-pleasing. You might notice yourself saying yes when you really want to say no, prioritising other people’s needs while your own get pushed aside, or feeling responsible for keeping the peace. Over time, this can stop feeling like a choice and start to feel like something you have to do to feel safe or accepted.

It can look like burnout and shutdown

It can look like burnout. You might feel exhausted in a way that rest doesn’t touch, as though your system has been running on high alert for too long. This is especially common if you’ve spent a long time masking, adapting, or holding everything together on the outside.

You can read more about this on my burnout counselling page.

It can look like shutting down. At times, you might go quiet, feel numb, or find it hard to connect with your emotions or needs, as though something inside has switched off. This isn’t a failure; it can be a protective response in which your system reduces what you feel to cope.

It can look like being on edge. Even when things seem okay on the surface, you might feel tense, restless, or unable to fully relax, as though your body is still expecting something to go wrong. Your mind may understand that things are different now, but your body hasn’t fully caught up yet.

It can play out at work and in relationships

At work, you might be the person who can handle genuine crises with calm but completely panics when your boss wants to “chat” or gives you constructive feedback. Your brain may have learned that criticism often came with bigger consequences, so it treats all feedback as potential danger. You might be a perfectionist who works twice as hard as everyone else because “good enough” feels terrifying, or you might procrastinate because starting feels overwhelming when failure feels catastrophic.

It can also show up in relationships. You might want closeness and connection, but also find it hard to trust it, or feel anxious when someone pulls away. At other times, you might need space but feel guilty for it, or struggle to express what you need. These patterns often make more sense when we begin to look at earlier experiences with care and curiosity. These responses are not random, and they are not signs that you are broken. There are ways your mind and body have learned to cope, adapt, and protect you over time, often in situations where those responses were necessary.

In your body, trauma often shows up as chronic health issues that doctors can’t quite explain. Persistent headaches, digestive problems, chronic fatigue, or frequent illness can all be signs that you are tracking for danger, which is no longer present. Sleep might sometimes be elusive because your brain doesn’t fully believe it’s safe to be in rest mode and vulnerable. Or you might sleep too much because it’s the only time your nervous system gets a break from being hypervigilant.

Therapy can help make sense of this. You don’t need to have a clear story or a specific label for what you’ve been through. We can start with what’s showing up for you now, the patterns, the overwhelm, the sense that something doesn’t quite feel right and begin to understand it together.

You can find out more about how I work on my trauma counselling page.

If something here feels familiar, you’re not alone in it. And you don’t have to figure it out on your own. I offer trauma-informed counselling in Macclesfield and online across the UK. If you’d like to get in touch, you’re very welcome to contact me.

I hear this a lot in the therapy room. Someone finally gets a moment to stop, maybe when the kids are in bed, or work has eased off, or they’ve carved out a bit of time for themselves, and instead of feeling calm or relieved, they feel worse. I know, because I have been here on more than one occasion as an AuDHD therapist, experiencing perimenopause.

Sometimes we can be too anxious and feel more emotional, sometimes even on the edge of tears for no clear reason, when we come to rest. Some of my clients thought slowing down would help. If this is you, I want you to know, nothing has gone wrong here.

What I often see happening

Many of my clients are exceptionally good at pushing through their challenges. They keep going, even when they are exhausted, carrying a heavy emotional, mental, and practical load. To the outside world, they seem to be coping well, but internally, their systems are working overtime. When we are in “just keep going” mode, there isn’t always room to process our feelings. As a result, our bodies protect us by setting aside those emotions so we can function.

Then things slow down, and it all catches up!

In my experience, when life quiets down, my nervous system realises it’s safe to express what it’s been holding back. That’s when all the emotions I didn’t have time for, the tension stored in my body, and the thoughts pushed aside start to resurface. This can feel confusing and frustrating, making it seem like you can’t relax. You may even think, “Why can’t I rest? Am I broken?” But, in reality, it’s your system beginning to emerge from survival mode.

It doesn’t always feel like rest at first

We believe that rest should feel peaceful from the start. But for many people, especially those used to being the strong one, the reliable one, the one who keeps everything going, slowing down can feel very unfamiliar or uncomfortable. Sometimes, when you’ve spent a long time being “on,” stillness can feel a bit exposing, as if everything you’ve been holding suddenly gets a voice.

A different way of understanding it

Instead of thinking, “I’m getting worse,” I encourage you to consider, “Maybe this is my body catching up.” This process doesn’t happen all at once or in an overwhelming way; it unfolds in small moments where something held inside can start to move.

You don’t need to force yourself to relax or push those feelings away. Sometimes, it helps to:

If you identify with this experience, you’re not alone. This is something I frequently observe, and it makes sense when you consider how much your system has been holding. Slowing down may not always be the easy, peaceful experience we imagine, but it can mark the beginning of something important, a big exhale from all that you’ve been carrying.

Want to work with me?

If this resonates with you and you’d like support for what surfaces in those quieter moments, therapy can provide a space where you don’t have to bear it all alone.

I’m a fully qualified therapist specialising in trauma and neurodiversity. I work with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. I let you lead our sessions on the issues you want to bring up. I also offer practical, evidence-based tools that may work for you.

Learn why old patterns repeat and how trauma-informed counselling in Macclesfield can help you understand and change them.

In my work as a therapist, many people come to me feeling stuck in patterns they don’t fully understand. They might describe shutting down during conflict, constantly putting others’ needs before their own, or finding themselves in the same painful relationship dynamics repeatedly. Often, there is a sense of frustration or self-blame, a feeling of “Why do I keep doing this?”

I want to make it clear from the outset: these patterns are not a personal failure. They are meaningful responses shaped by earlier experiences, and they make sense when we take the time to understand them.

My approach as a therapist is grounded in the belief that our emotional and behavioural patterns developed for a reason. At some point in your life, they helped you cope, stay safe, or maintain a connection. Whether that looked like becoming hyper-aware of others’ moods, learning to manage everything alone, or suppressing your own needs, these responses were intelligent adaptations to your environment.

In therapy, I work in a trauma-informed and person-centred way, which means I’m less interested in “fixing” you and more interested in understanding you. I’m curious about how your nervous system learned to respond, what your body holds, and what your experiences taught you about yourself and relationships. We move at a pace that feels safe, with attention to both emotional and bodily responses.

Early relationships and life experiences often shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves. Many people I work with hold quiet, deeply ingrained beliefs such as “I’m not enough,” “I have to cope alone,” or “My needs don’t matter.” These beliefs aren’t chosen consciously, but they can influence how we relate to others and to ourselves in adulthood. In therapy, we gently explore the origins of these beliefs and how they continue to manifest today.

A key part of my work involves helping clients notice when an old pattern is being activated. This might show up as a sudden sense of overwhelm, a strong urge to withdraw, or a familiar feeling of anxiety or shame. Often, these moments carry a younger emotional memory. Rather than pushing these reactions away, we work to understand what part of you is being touched and what it might be needing now.

I also place a strong emphasis on nervous system awareness. Many patterns are not just cognitive habits but embodied responses. Learning to notice and regulate what is happening in the body can create more choice and reduce the intensity of old reactions. This is done gently and collaboratively, without pressure to relive or retell experiences before you feel ready.

Healing, in my experience, is not about erasing the past. It’s about developing a kinder relationship with yourself and expanding your capacity to respond differently in the present. Over time, as awareness and safety increase, old patterns often become less pronounced. New ways of relating, to yourself and to others, can begin to emerge naturally.

Work with me

If you’re noticing repeating patterns in your life and are curious about their origins, therapy can provide a supportive space to explore this. I offer trauma-informed counselling in Macclesfield and online across the UK, and I work collaboratively, at your pace, with respect for your experiences and your autonomy. You’re welcome to get in touch to see whether working together feels like a good fit.

Shame is a complex emotion that can significantly impact anyone, particularly individuals who are neurodivergent.

Neurodivergent shame often manifests as an internalised sense of inadequacy and self-criticism, arising from a lifetime of navigating a neurotypical world that frequently fails to accommodate neurodivergent traits. It can feel as though we are continually receiving unhelpful feedback suggesting we could do better.

This shame may originate from experiencing social stigma, comparisons, being criticised for having different traits, or the need to mask our true selves. Over time, an internal belief forms: “I’m bad.” Regret can also be a factor, particularly in areas such as impulse control, emotional regulation, and other executive functioning skills. We may regret things we have done or things we wish we had done, and feel shame about it.

Neurodivergent individuals often experience shame differently from neurotypical individuals. They may struggle in social situations, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or embarrassment. It’s essential to recognise that these feelings are not inherently tied to being neurodivergent but often result from societal expectations and misunderstandings.

Shame often relates to a person’s identity rather than their actions; it embodies the feeling of “I feel bad about who I am.” When we receive consistent feedback throughout our lives about how we need to improve, it can seriously undermine our self-worth and amplify feelings of shame about our identity. This emotional turmoil can lead to perfectionism and mental health challenges like anxiety and burnout.

While those who struggle with shame may be intensely focused on how others perceive them, the first step to combating this emotion is self-acceptance. Without accepting and valuing themselves, neurodivergent individuals may find it hard to recognise that others can love and care for them too.

What can help?

1. Self-compassion: Accepting who you are and speaking to yourself with kindness is crucial in challenging a harsh inner critic.

2. Identify triggers: Recognising what triggers shame, like sensory overload or forgotten tasks, can help in managing your reactions.

3. Talking to allies: Engaging with friends, partners, or others who understand and love us plays a vital role in addressing our shame. Compassion acts as an antidote to shame.

4. Finding a tribe: Connecting with other neurodivergent individuals can provide validation and a sense of belonging.

5. Seeking support: Surrounding yourself with supportive people and resources can significantly aid in overcoming feelings of shame.

Want to work with me?

I’m a fully qualified therapist specialising in trauma and neurodiversity. I work with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. I let you lead our sessions with the issues you want to bring. I also offer practical, evidence-based tools that may work for you.

If you’re interested in working with me to address any shame you are experiencing and work towards self-acceptance, please contact me.

From experience, I know that anxiety and panic attacks can feel overwhelming, unpredictable, and sometimes frightening. Many clients come to see me feeling anxious and not knowing what to do with it, as many of us don’t – we’re not taught what anxiety is and what it means.

The good news is that with understanding and the right tools, you can learn to navigate them more efficiently and with self-compassion. I still experience anxiety and panic attacks, but I’ve found ways to be with them.

What is anxiety?

Anxiety is your body’s natural response to perceived danger. It triggers the fight-flight-freeze response, preparing you to deal with threats. While this can be helpful in short bursts or when a real threat happens. But when this response is misfiring (when there is no real threat), chronic anxiety can become exhausting and intrusive, affecting your daily life.

What are panic attacks?

A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear or discomfort that peaks within minutes. It can include symptoms like:

• Fast heartbeat
• Shortness of breath
• Dizziness or feeling lightheaded
• Sweating or feeling cold
• A sense of detachment from reality
• Fear of losing control

Panic attacks can caused by overwhelm, stress or trauma. Sometimes, they can feel as though they come out of nowhere. But while they feel overwhelming, they are not dangerous, and they do pass.

Why do they happen?

Panic attacks and anxiety are often intensified and get reinforced when you ‘react’ fearfully through a fight/flight reaction to stress-related body sensations and overwhelming feelings or symptoms of anxiety. The more attention we give to anxiety and these sensations, the longer they take to go away. If we can learn not to pay attention and to say to ourselves, this will pass; and I will be ok -this is half of the battle.

Often, the symptoms of panic and anxiety will become less intense once your fight/flight reaction to these stress-related symptoms has stopped and you are no longer fighting the sensations that arise.

What can I do?

Notice and become mindful

Ask yourself, how do I know anxiety is here? What are the body sensations, feelings, body posture, thoughts, and images in my mind that go with my anxiety?

What is my relationship to anxiety?

Notice what meaning and judgments you make about your anxiety and emotional distress in the first place.

What kind of relationship do you have with your anxiety sensations and feelings of distress? Do you automatically fight the feelings, trying to push them down, have catastrophic fantasies about the future, or have excessive worry thinking through the ‘what ifs’? Do you shame yourself and judge yourself for feeling anxiety or distress?

Notice the effect of your reaction to your original distress and anxiety symptoms. Does it intensify or lessen it? Remind yourself that your anxiety is here for a reason, and if you listen to it, you will find out what it’s here to tell you.

What helps in the moment?

Try to reframe it

Call it out for what it is – “this is an adrenalin rush I don’t want or need right now. I don’t need to do anything right now. I need to sit with it, and it’s uncomfortable, but it will pass.” The more we fear and react to anxiety and panic attacks, the more we keep the loop going.

Notice your thoughts

Anxiety often brings thoughts like, “Something bad is about to happen,” or “I can’t handle this.”

When these thoughts arise, try asking:

• Is this thought based on fact or fear?
• What would I say to a friend feeling this way?
• What is the worst that could happen, and could I cope with it?

Ground yourself in the present

During an anxiety or panic attack, grounding techniques help bring you back to the present:

• The 5-4-3-2-1 method: Name five things you see, four things you touch, three things you hear, two things you smell, and one thing you taste.
• Deep breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. Repeat until your body begins to settle. Or do 10 slow, deep belly breaths.
• Hold something cold: Ice packs, a cold drink, or running your hands under cool water can help interrupt the panic cycle.

Regulate your nervous system

• Engage in movement: gentle exercise, stretching, or walking can release built-up tension.
• Use self-soothing techniques: a warm bath, your favourite TV, or comforting music can calm the body. Anything that works for you.
• Try somatic practices: progressive muscle relaxation, stretching, swaying side to side, singing or humming can help regulate your nervous system.

Know that you will cope – you have the resilience to do this.

Want to work with me?

I’m a fully qualified therapist specialising in trauma and neurodiversity. I work with depression, anxiety and low self-esteem. I offer practical, evidence-based tools that might work for you.

If you’re interested in working with me to start to work with your anxiey, and feel more confident please contact me.

Have you ever caught yourself speaking to yourself in a way you’d never dream of speaking to a friend? The way we talk to ourselves matters. Yet, many of us hold ourselves to impossible standards, replay mistakes over and over, and criticise our every move.

If your inner critic runs the show, it might be time to shift towards self-kindness. Self compassion isn’t about ignoring our challenges or pretending that everything is fine. It’s about meeting yourself with warmth and understanding, even when things go wrong.

Here is how you can start:

1. Notice your inner voice

We all have an internal dialogue; for many, it’s a harsh and unforgiving inner critic. Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Would you say those words to a loved one? If the answer is no, try softening your tone. I

Instead of ‘I’m such a failure’ try ‘I’m doing the best I can, and that’s enough.’

2. Treat yourself like a good friend

Imagine your best friend was struggling. How would you comfort them? What would you say? Now, apply that same compassion to yourself. Next time you make a mistake or feel overwhelmed, ask yourself, ‘What would I say to a friend in this situation?’ Then say it to yourself.

3. Set healthy boundaries

Being kind to yourself also means protecting your time, energy, and well-being. Learn to say no to things that drain you. Prioritise rest. Surround yourself with people who uplift rather than criticise you. Boundaries aren’t selfish, they’re a vital act of self-respect.

4. Challenge perfectionism

Perfectionism is often the enemy of self-kindness. It keeps you stuck in a cycle of ‘I’m not good enough.’ Try embracing the idea that good enough is enough. Your progress matters so much more than perfection.

5. Nourish your body and mind

Self compassion includes taking care of yourself physically and emotionally. Eat foods that make you feel good, move in ways that bring you joy, and get enough rest. Small acts of self-care, whether it’s making a nice cup of tea, taking a deep breath, or stepping outside send a powerful message: I am worthy of care.

6. Practice self-compassionate journaling

Journaling is a great way to reflect on your thoughts and emotions. Try writing down three kind things about yourself each day. Or, if you’re struggling, write yourself a letter from the perspective of someone who loves you.

7. Embrace your humanity

None of us have it all together all the time. You will make mistakes. You will have bad days. That doesn’t mean you are failing; it means you are human. Instead of berating yourself for your imperfections, embrace them as part of you and your story.

8. Seek support when you need it

Being kind to yourself also means knowing when to ask for help. You don’t have to cope with everything alone. Reach out to a friend, a therapist, or a local support group when you need a reminder that you don’t have to do it all alone.

You deserve kindness, not just from others, but from yourself. The way you speak to yourself, the way you treat yourself, and the way you care for yourself all shape your well-being.

Start small. Speak gently. And remember, every act of self compassion is a step toward growth and healing.

Want to work with me?

I’m a fully qualified therapist specialising in trauma and neurodiversity. I work with depression, anxiety and low self esteem. I offer practical, evidence based tools that worked for me.

If you’re interested in working with me to start to improve your view of yourself and feel more confident please contact me.

Our inner critic is a part of us; I’ve heard it referred to as the glue of our personality. Often there to judge us, to punish us, to berate us and make us feel guilty. Is this fair? It’s not, it’s harsh.

A harsh inner critic doesn’t believe that we are enough as we are – it thinks we need to work and work and work to get there. But it comes from a place of support and love – it just goes about it incorrectly.

Why do some of us have bullying critics?

Our critics are different; they are built from the survival strategies of early childhood, of trying to keep the attachment of our caregivers. As we grow older and take in cultural and social norms, they become fixed and a solid part of us.

This has a profound impact on how we view ourselves and how we make meaning. As children, we look for love and interpret messages from parents, school, friendships, and bullies. A harsh critic is always in our ears or influencing how we are and behave. The right and wrongs we learn lead us to try to be good, the best at school, and be loveable. If we do everything right, we’ll be loved, safe, and belong. It shuts down the part of us that might cause us to be disliked or not loved in a misguided way of protecting and loving us.

Our critic judges us; it doesn’t have any other role. It attacks our intelligence, our gender, our age, our sexual orientation, our appearance, and our way of being. It makes us anxious; it increases stress and attacks our nervous system.

Some of us might have a healthy inner critic that is helpful for us – but many of us have an unhealthy, harsh critic that challenges our sense of self and worth. A healthy inner critic – or an inner champion- is kinder and more supportive, like a coach. It’s a healthy human conscience; it keeps us in check but in a less mean way, without beating us up, bathing us in shame. People with self-compassion and kind critics can look at learning and growth rather than failure.

How can we break free from a harsh inner critic:

• Listen to your critic; what is it so fearful of? What boundaries has it built up, and what are its rules? Don’t criticise your critic; be curious about it. What is it saying to you? What are its expectations? What are the ideals you need to match up to? What is its purpose? Does it have any positive intention?
• Imagine sitting next to your critic and chatting with it. What voice does it have? What standards is it holding you to (this might sound like you should, you must, more than, better than, less than)
• When does it appear? In what situations is it louder? When does it go away?
• How do you relate to your critic? How would you describe it to others?
• What are its origins, and how long has it been around? Does it remind you of anyone?
• How does it feel in your body? Do you want to curl up, fight or run away? If you don’t feel a voice in your head, you may feel it in your body; you may feel exhausted, diminished or small.
• Recognise that we are all human, all good people, and sometimes all make mistakes.

To begin this work, try to have a daily dialogue with your critic; talk to it from the moment you get up. Say to it, I need you to step back; I have my own back. Sit it down in a chair and say what you notice and feel about it. Play with it.

The benefits of this:

When we are more regulated, we have more power to confront and turn towards our critic, question it, laugh at it, and slowly disengage from it. Show it compassion, and try to understand how it’s trying to help.

We must look at our shame, defensive models, patterns, and survival strategies from a compassionate place. This work is also about turning towards our inner child, listening to it, and supporting it through this work.

If you need support from a harsh inner critic or are interested in inner child work, please contact me.

Rewind trauma therapy can quickly and effectively process traumatic memories without requiring any in-depth discussion. It helps remove intense emotions from memories, preventing them from triggering traumatic responses.

Rewind Therapy, also known as the Rewind Technique. It is used to help overcome the effects of trauma, PTSD, phobias, and anxiety.

Trauma can significantly impact daily life, regardless of whether it occurred four weeks ago or 20 years ago. And whether it was a single event or ongoing events or experiences. It can be debilitating and scary to live with.

Trauma can cause depression and anxiety; it can shape the way we think and feel and make us angry, anxious, sad, confused, and stressed. It can lead us to avoid certain situations. It can increase our reliance on unhelpful coping mechanisms. Additionally, trauma can significantly impact our relationships, including those with family and friends.

Using the Rewind therapy technique, we will work specifically on your trauma in the safety of the therapy room. The aim is to reduce the effects of the trauma, helping with PTSD, flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, and panic attacks.

How does rewind therapy work for trauma?

1. Relaxation and safety: I will work to help you to reach a relaxed state, often using guided relaxation or grounding exercises, helping you to safe and secure.
2. Mental “rewinding”: I will then ask to visualise the traumatic event, but you’ll do so from a dissociated perspective. Instead of reliving the event from your own perspective, you will visualise it as if watching a movie or from a third-person view. You don’t have to talk to me about what happened.
3. Desensitisation: During the visualisation, I will guide you to “rewind” the memory, playing it backwards in your mind and then “fast-forwarding” it again, repeatedly. This process is designed to change the emotional connection to the traumatic memory, gradually reducing the distress it causes.
4. Integration: After the repeated visualisation and desensitisation, I may bring you back to the present, helping you to integrate this new, less-disturbing version of the memory into your psyche.

What are the benefits?

Non-intrusive: Rewind therapy differs from other trauma therapies by respecting your boundaries and not requiring a detailed recounting of trauma. This approach is more accessible and less distressing, offering comfort and reassurance to many individuals.

Quick: Rewind is a relatively short therapy, sometimes requiring only a few sessions. This quick turnaround can bring a sense of hope and optimism, knowing that relief from trauma can be achieved in a short span of time.

Effective for trauma: Research and anecdotal evidence strongly suggest that Rewind can be effective in reducing PTSD symptoms, flashbacks, nightmares, and anxiety. However, its effectiveness can vary based on the individual and the specific nature of their trauma.

It’s important to note that while many find it beneficial, it may not work for everyone, and there are no guarantees of complete resolution of trauma-related issues.

If you are interested in Rewind therapy, please contact me for more information or to book a session.

Journalling is a super straightforward tool and one that is often overlooked as part of a self-care toolbox. Many of us live with severe anxiety and stress, and writing down our thoughts can have profound benefits for mental health.

A safe space for expression

One of the most significant benefits of journalling is that it provides a safe and private space to express your thoughts and emotions without fearing other people’s judgement.

Many of us struggle to articulate our feelings verbally or feel uncomfortable sharing our innermost thoughts. A journal is a personal sanctuary where you can pour out everything that is playing on your mind. This expression of thought can be incredibly liberating, helping to unburden the mind and alleviate emotional stress.

Clarifying thoughts and feelings

Our minds often feel like a tangled web of thoughts and emotions, especially during stressful times. Journalling helps to untangle this web by allowing you to organise your thoughts.

By writing down your feelings, you can clarify what’s truly bothering you, identify patterns in your thinking, and begin to recognise triggers contributing to your stress or anxiety. This self-awareness is the first step toward addressing mental health challenges.

Managing stress and anxiety

Writing about stressful experiences can reduce the intensity of those emotions – much like talking about them can. This process, known as expressive writing, can help to lower cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress.

By confronting and exploring stressful events through journalling, you can lessen their emotional impact over time. Moreover, journalling can serve as a coping mechanism, providing a constructive outlet for processing difficult emotions instead of internalising or avoiding them.

Enhancing emotional intelligence

Journalling can also boost your emotional intelligence. Giving you a better ability to recognise, understand, and manage your emotions. As you regularly document your experiences and feelings, you become more attuned to your emotional responses and better equipped to handle them. This heightened self-awareness can help to improve relationships, decision-making, and overall emotional resilience.

Tracking personal growth

A journal can also be a brilliant tool for tracking personal growth and progress. You create a mental and emotional journey timeline by consistently recording your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Looking back on past entries can offer valuable insights into how far you’ve come, highlight recurring challenges, and reveal the strategies that have been most effective in managing your mental health. Having this sense of progress can be motivating and affirming.

Promoting mindfulness

Journalling encourages mindfulness, the practice of being present and fully engaged with the current moment. When you write, you focus on your inner world, tuning out external distractions. This mindful practice can help calm the mind, reduce anxiety, and promote peace. Over time, journaling can help you create a more conscious approach to life, helping you to become more aware of your thoughts, emotions, and reactions.

Problem-solving and creativity

Writing about challenges and obstacles can also enhance problem-solving skills and creativity. With journalling, you talk with yourself, exploring different perspectives and possibilities. This process can help you think outside the box, generate new ideas, and develop solutions to problems that may have seemed insurmountable before.

Helping to process trauma and healing

If you have experienced trauma, journaling can be a powerful tool for healing. Trauma can leave a lasting impact on mental health, and processing it can be challenging. Journaling provides a private space to explore traumatic experiences at your own pace, helping you to make sense of what happened and integrate those experiences into your broader life story. This process can be incredibly therapeutic, aiding in the emotional processing and healing necessary to move forward.

Improving sleep quality

Stress and anxiety can affect our sleep. Journalling before bed, mainly writing about your worries or to-do lists, can help clear your mind, making it easier to fall asleep. By offloading your thoughts onto paper, you can reduce the mental chatter that often keeps you awake at night, leading to better sleep quality and overall mental well-being.

How to get started

So, how do we start practising good journaling? If you’re new to journaling, filling blank pages with your thoughts might feel daunting. But please remember, there are no rules for journaling. It’s a personal practice, and what matters most is that it feels helpful and authentic to you.

Here are a few tips to help you get started:

1. Start small: Begin with just a few minutes a day. You don’t need to write pages and pages; a few sentences can be beneficial.

2 Be honest: Write freely without worrying about grammar, spelling, or what others might think. A journal is your space to be completely honest with yourself.

3. Use prompts: If you’re unsure what to write about, try using prompts such as “Today I feel…”, “What’s been on my mind lately is…” or “One thing I’m grateful for is…”.

4. Make it a habit: Try to journal regularly, whether daily, weekly, or whenever you need. Consistency can help you reap the most benefits.

Please contact me if you’re interesting in sessions or with any questions about journalling.

Email therapy provides a powerful and accessible method for you to articulate your emotions and thoughts in a non-judgmental environment.

Through asynchronous communication via email, you are able to express your feelings, problems, and concerns in a way that might work better for you. For some, this approach fosters greater freedom and openness than traditional verbal communication, creating a space for meaningful self-expression and introspection.

In practical terms, email therapy involves a weekly exchange of emails between the client and therapist, with both parties committing to crafting thoughtful and reflective responses similar to a standard therapy session. Agreed response times and a dedication to confidentiality through secure communication platforms (like Protonmail) are integral to this setup.

Many individuals find that writing about their thoughts and feelings is a therapeutic process that contributes to profound self-awareness and offers insight into personal experiences.

Email therapy is especially helpful for those who prefer expressing themselves in writing and value enhanced privacy and confidentiality. Additionally, the permanent record of email exchanges allows clients to further reflect on their feelings and the therapist’s responses.

How does it work?

Once a week, you email me, and I write back. This exchange of confidential emails allows you to explore how you feel with a qualified therapist through written words.

We each send a maximum of 500 words once a week. I will spend the same time writing to you as I would if we were meeting for a 50-minute session. And I ask that you give your writing the same amount of time.

We will agree to respond to each other by a specific time and day of the week, so you’ll always know when to expect to hear from me next. As the time delay is an essential therapeutic difference with email therapy, I take three working days to reflect, ponder and draft my reply. This allows me to thoroughly consider your thoughts and words as you wait for my answer.

The email therapy sessions can conducted through an email platform of your choice. I will use ProtonMail and recommend you consider signing up for their free account to ensure all emails are encrypted.

If you do decide to try email therapy, you can try these tips: 

• Agree with your therapist on a time and day of the week to respond to each other
• Limit your emails to 500 words 
• Use emojis, fonts or colours to help express yourself 
• Ensure you are in a private and safe space to write in
• Spend time reflecting and writing your reply.
• Clarify if your therapist misunderstands or gets something wrong, so they knwo and can put this right.

Why I like offering email therapy

I enjoy finding the right words to help us understand ourselves. Writing is absorbing and enlightening. As a person-centred therapist, the relationship we develop is critical to change and growth.

As I read your words, I will aim to understand who you are and what support you seek. For the ‘therapeutic hour’, I am with you. I will be in your frame of reference, working to see what you may not see to understand yourself better. A weekly therapeutic email exchange is an effective way to connect, be understood, find the answers that work for you and thrive.

However, email therapy may not suit everyone. Some individuals prefer the immediacy of spoken conversation or find it challenging to express themselves accurately through writing. Despite these considerations, if you resonate with this mode of therapy, it can be an effective means of exploring feelings and thoughts, benefiting from the therapeutic process in a flexible and introspective manner.

If you are interested in email therapy, please get in touch with me for more information.